Thursday,September 23, 2010
Mr.H.Salsich
English 8B
Hanna Rose
essay #2 Edward Cullen a Unique Person
When I say strage person, what do you think about? Maybe a person who eats strange things or has strage habits. But has the word "vampire" ever crossed your mind? Well, Edward Cullen is a very strange person, not just because he's a vampire though.
TS Edward Cullen is a unique person in the book and movie saga, Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer. SD Edward is a very mystical and mysterious guy mostly because of the way he looks. CM His eyes change colors; for instance you could be talking to him and one moment they're gold and then you blink and they're red. CM When it is sunny outside, he literally sparkles like diamonds. SD Edward is a vampire who has special abilities other vampires and humans don't have. CM He is not alive, has no soul and is cold blooded. CM Instead of feeding on human's blood he feeds on animals. SD He can also read people's minds, which is not always a good thing because he can hear what people are saying about him. CM He is always listening to thoughts and never sleeps. CM When Edward listens to Bella's thoughts he can run at the speed of light to her if she's in danger. CS Even though Edward Cullen is a strange and unique person, he cares alot a lot about Bella.
Edward is a very strage person. From what he eats to what he looks like. But when it comes to Bella, his girlfriend, he is a normal person. He loves her and would do anything for her, Edward is a unique person.
Hanna I think the fact that you chose Edward Cullen is interesting, and that you had a very creative paragraph. I am not sure but i think you meant to put is instead of i in your concluding sentence. Maybe you could explain who Bella is if someone has never seen the movie but i think that were very creative in your whole paragraph and keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteSincerely John
Hanna, I liked how you described Edward Cullen because you did a very good job in teaching someone who did not know about Edward Cullen what he looked like and his personality. I think you need to proofread it a little more like when you say,” Even though Edward Cullen i a strange and unique person….” It didn’t make sense because there is is spelled wrong. I also might suggest that you list some of Edward’s family who can also do strange things. It might be easier for you to write the next two paragraphs on Edward Cullen.
ReplyDeletesincerely Alan
1. I am working on making my sentences flow, with elegance.
ReplyDelete2. I think that the way i describe his apperence is one of the strong things in my essay.
3. One of the weeks things in my essay is probubly my concultion paragraph im still working on a way to close the paragraph.
4. For this essay i would give myself a B-